one goal against

11pm - just got home from playing hockey on my women’s team. My no-goals-against streak was broken tonight and I'm surprisingly disappointed about it. I've been playing defence since the second game of the season and (despite the fact that J tells me this is a lofty goal); I really thought I was going to be able to hold out for the whole season. I'm just that good. At least, in my head I'm just that good. In reality, I would cry real tears of embarrassment if anyone ever shot video and showed me what I looked like flailing around the ice. But, it FEELS like I'm effing awesome:)


Have been thinking a lot about what I want to do next in life. Not my favourite topic of thought since I feel like I have been here far too many times before. With the kids getting older and school aged, and having finally made my peace with not having any more children (despite an all consuming baby-fever that turns me into a crazy woman every month) I am ready to decide what is going to fill my days for the next couple of decades. I'm still really drawn to elements of design, graphic or architectural, but the pragmatist in me says there is no way that I can be competitive with people who are going to be almost half my age with twice the experience. But then I wonder, is that just a cop out - my way of circumventing even trying anything for fear that I will fail? Probably. I am scared of failing, especially if it's at something that I really want.

Ultimately, I'm going to have to channel my inner risk taker and step off the curb.