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My baby turns 5 years old tomorrow. Unlike some of my peers, I do not feel like time moves quickly. I have never been one to remark, wide eyed, "Has it really been XX years?" or "Where does the time go?" As someone who has been keenly aware of the ticking of the clock for most of my life I have a good sense of how to perceive time in "real-time". That being said, what I notice with having children is that I feel often that I have missed moments with them, or forgotten things about them. It happens when someone who doesn't see the kids often comments anecdotally on something that the kids were doing last time they saw them; 9 times out of 10 I don't remember the memory. My memories, in comparison seem banal - daily life, hurts and upsets, sleepless nights, worry. Where are all the Kodak moments? But, back to the reason I am writing tonight which is to acknowledge the end of wonderful chapter of my life; the end of babies. With my daughter turning 5 tomorrow and my son being in his 8th year I'm being opened up to a whole life of possibilities and opportunities that I thought were lost to me the moment A1 was born. Having submersed myself into the kids for so long and so completely I really feel like an intrepid explorer rediscovering the world right now. So much to do! So much opportunity and inspiration! What to do first? This next chapter is going to be exciting...the next 10 years are all about personal growth, sharing my values and interests with my children and reclaiming the independence I gave up, gladly, to mother babes. 

So, with a smile on my face and thinking of what I was doing 5 years ago right now and remembering how it felt to be so needed and required by helpless humans that I couldn't even spare the time to have a personal thought or care...I'm going upstairs to read and drink tea. Cause I can.