excerpt
“Tanya wants to go dancing!”
Oh, boy. 10:30pm: my hair is wet and my jeans feel too tight thanks to feminine reasons and here I am stuck at this table with a small girl clinging a gold lame purse and smelling of beer breath. I can’t get over how tiny she is. The group is discussing where to go for Rich’s 29th birthday and no one can seem to make a decision.
“I just don’t want it to end up like last year; wandering from bar to bar, staring at the hot chicks and drinking six dollar beers until it’s time to go home. Whatever we do it has to be FUN.”
“Well so we’ll fucking make it fun”
“Ya, fuck ya!” Rich falls over.
“Tanya wants to go dancing”, she says in her baby voice.
“Ya, you just want to be all hot and shit with your girlfriends – show off your underwear and shit”
I step in with my sober self.
"Rich, shut up. Mark take him outside."
“Dude, lets go for a smoke”
Tanya turns to me.
“You know I fucking hate thong underwear. Seriously, they are way too uncomfortable.”
“I know what you mean.”
“I tried them but I couldn’t stand sleeping in them so I went back to granny wear”
“Hmmmm, they’re pretty bad. There’s a reason why guys don’t wear them.”
“Oh my god, would you want to see THAT in a g-string? I mean it’s ugly enough on its own. Don’t dress it up it only makes it worse. I dated this guy once who wore the super tight little underwear and I seriously had to tell him not to wear them anymore ‘cause I just couldn’t take it. I mean I love how guys are so into their dinks and don’t even realize how ugly they are. I don’t want to see it in a g-string. In fact, I don’t want to see it at all.”
“Ya?”
“Oh my god, it’s like, get over yourselves and see the thing for what it really is…ugly. They just think it’s the greatest thing and it just makes me laugh.”
“That’s pretty funny Tanya. Never really looked at it that way.”
At this point Tanya fell off her stool and hit the table, landed one high-heeled foot on the floor and recovered with a “whoop” and by grabbing the table and upsetting the drinks.
J and I went home and did our laundry.
Oh, boy. 10:30pm: my hair is wet and my jeans feel too tight thanks to feminine reasons and here I am stuck at this table with a small girl clinging a gold lame purse and smelling of beer breath. I can’t get over how tiny she is. The group is discussing where to go for Rich’s 29th birthday and no one can seem to make a decision.
“I just don’t want it to end up like last year; wandering from bar to bar, staring at the hot chicks and drinking six dollar beers until it’s time to go home. Whatever we do it has to be FUN.”
“Well so we’ll fucking make it fun”
“Ya, fuck ya!” Rich falls over.
“Tanya wants to go dancing”, she says in her baby voice.
“Ya, you just want to be all hot and shit with your girlfriends – show off your underwear and shit”
I step in with my sober self.
"Rich, shut up. Mark take him outside."
“Dude, lets go for a smoke”
Tanya turns to me.
“You know I fucking hate thong underwear. Seriously, they are way too uncomfortable.”
“I know what you mean.”
“I tried them but I couldn’t stand sleeping in them so I went back to granny wear”
“Hmmmm, they’re pretty bad. There’s a reason why guys don’t wear them.”
“Oh my god, would you want to see THAT in a g-string? I mean it’s ugly enough on its own. Don’t dress it up it only makes it worse. I dated this guy once who wore the super tight little underwear and I seriously had to tell him not to wear them anymore ‘cause I just couldn’t take it. I mean I love how guys are so into their dinks and don’t even realize how ugly they are. I don’t want to see it in a g-string. In fact, I don’t want to see it at all.”
“Ya?”
“Oh my god, it’s like, get over yourselves and see the thing for what it really is…ugly. They just think it’s the greatest thing and it just makes me laugh.”
“That’s pretty funny Tanya. Never really looked at it that way.”
At this point Tanya fell off her stool and hit the table, landed one high-heeled foot on the floor and recovered with a “whoop” and by grabbing the table and upsetting the drinks.
J and I went home and did our laundry.
posted by wattlebla at 08:35
1 Comments:
I think i may know the girl with the Gold purse, just maybe....
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