quick fix

It's a strange thing to be disliked. There is a woman who comes into my work who dislikes me a lot. She even called me "bitch" once, which was a monumental occasion since it was the first time anyone had ever called me that to me face. Ever. But, back to being disliked – I don’t really mind it.

Oh man. Everything is just so good and great but at the same time so fucked up right now. I don’t know how to explain it. Life is good and I’m growing and learning so many different things and finding peace about so many questions and even coming to terms with mortality and it’s all happening just on it’s own. It’s like the smoking…one day I woke up and I wasn’t a smoker. That was six months ago and I've forgotten what it even feels like to smoke. It’s like I woke up one morning a different person. Like I'm a character in a book that is being re-written. But, I know that I'm the one who is doing the writing and I know that all the changes have been conscious decisions. It's just really weird not to be quite so neurotic and worried all the time.

Matisyahu - I'm really loving this guy's music right now. Also, (no judgements please) the new Madonna. Whatever, it's great to dance to and you gotta hand it to the old broad; she really does know what the kids are into. Have also been listening to a lot of old Bowie, and Supertramp. Looking for a theme? I don't think there is one. It's all just part of my insta-grat life - it makes me feel good.

As we approach the end of this year I have been thinking a lot about 2005. This has been a really great, fun, confusing, frustrating year. I need some time to process just how I feel about everything. In the meantime, x-mas is upon us and I'm holding a crazy reunion at L's place on x-mas eve. Anyone who wants to attend and see the faces of yester-year, please do (be warned that several have pro-created). Anytime after 7pm...there are no yellow curtains anymore so just look for the number 2307.

Cheers.