fifteen
I got married on this date 15 years ago. That's all I have to say about that.
Well, here it is, September 1st. 600km of time on my feet lost. An entire summer. Feeling overwhelmed with grief and loss, but now adding to that fear. Fear of who I am. Fear of who I will become if I can't find my way back to who I was.
I thought today about the laws of the universe. I thought and thought (as I ran circles in the pool) and came to the conclusion that there is one all-governing law that rules everything. That is: everything must have an opposite. Now, before i continue let me be clear in saying that I know I didn't discover this idea...I merely remembered it. There is no light without dark, there is no ying without yang, and for every action the is an equal and opposite reaction. So following that train of thought, the purpose of life should be to find balance. And that's a tough pill to swallow because I'm not so good with balance, I always try to cheat. Like most people I try to take too much of the good stuff without paying my dues. I seem to forget (on purpose) that if I don't meet every action with an equal and opposite reaction then an imbalance will occur and eventually everything will recalibrate in a way that I don't choose and in likely a more negatively impactful way then it would have if I had just been mindful of balance in the beginning. An example...if there is a day that I choose to run then I must go to bed early to allow my body the time to recover. If I don't, if I choose to instead go out and stay up late, then I have caused an imbalance. In my case, the imbalance took 2 years to recalibrate. I thought I could just keep going and going, but the fact is that because I didn't respect my limits the balance is being forcefully restored instead. Point taken, universe. Thanks.
Well, here it is, September 1st. 600km of time on my feet lost. An entire summer. Feeling overwhelmed with grief and loss, but now adding to that fear. Fear of who I am. Fear of who I will become if I can't find my way back to who I was.
I thought today about the laws of the universe. I thought and thought (as I ran circles in the pool) and came to the conclusion that there is one all-governing law that rules everything. That is: everything must have an opposite. Now, before i continue let me be clear in saying that I know I didn't discover this idea...I merely remembered it. There is no light without dark, there is no ying without yang, and for every action the is an equal and opposite reaction. So following that train of thought, the purpose of life should be to find balance. And that's a tough pill to swallow because I'm not so good with balance, I always try to cheat. Like most people I try to take too much of the good stuff without paying my dues. I seem to forget (on purpose) that if I don't meet every action with an equal and opposite reaction then an imbalance will occur and eventually everything will recalibrate in a way that I don't choose and in likely a more negatively impactful way then it would have if I had just been mindful of balance in the beginning. An example...if there is a day that I choose to run then I must go to bed early to allow my body the time to recover. If I don't, if I choose to instead go out and stay up late, then I have caused an imbalance. In my case, the imbalance took 2 years to recalibrate. I thought I could just keep going and going, but the fact is that because I didn't respect my limits the balance is being forcefully restored instead. Point taken, universe. Thanks.
posted by wattlebla at 22:51
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