uh oh

I can't help but feel like these past three months have been a dream. Have I truly spent 9 weeks unable to walk? I'm not getting any better, and it's become a true case of cognitive dissonance, I should have taken my recovery more seriously from the beginning. Should have recognized that i had no control over the situation, that I couldn't power through it the way I normally deal with life's challenges. Had I done that I would probably be well by now. I feel fractured in mind and body, I just can't come to terms with what is happening or with what my future might look like.

There's no sense to reality. It simply happens. Wisdom, by definition is philosophical detachment from life's disasters. Not my words, Camille Paglia's, but so apt that I feel I couldn't really have said it any better. My life has officially become postmodern.

F*ck. It's official. I'm depressed.