independence

So, last week I set up my son's iCloud account and gave him free rein to use the computer to text and email with his dad, nana, sister and me...it feels like the beginning of a new era. I got 25 texts in an hour. Most of them included emoticons that depicted either poop or kisses...and I'm okay with that. He's eight, almost nine. Seems appropriate.

I started thinking about what my life was like when I was his age, about what I remember. I remember walking to the store to buy my mother cigarettes - I was such a nerd that I used to make her write a note just in case the 7-eleven clerk might think I was a hooligan buy-in them for myself (yes, 8 year olds could buy cigarettes in those days...I'm just that old). I remember taking the bus to school by myself, but then electing to walk home, despite the fact that it took almost an hour, just so I could use the bus fare to buy candy. I remember a trip to the neighbourhood park with my best friend that ended in a sprint back to my house because we were approached by a creepy stranger who wanted to give us a ride somewhere. I remember getting caught for lying about doing my homework months after the fact and thinking that life was completely unfair and stupid. I remember the big threat whenever I was upset was that I was going to run away and never come back. I remember thinking I could make it too.

My school when I was eight.

I guess my point is that most of my memories from that age have to do with my emerging independence. I was establishing myself in the world and was proud of myself when I was able to do things on my own. I was happy whenever I had the chance to go exploring alone and even when bad or scary things happened. I enjoyed the experiences enough not to be deterred. I'm really glad that I can start to foster this in my own child now. I'm really proud of him.

Pool running. Ya. I know several people have extolled the merits of pool running over the past year...I know it's good for form and fitness and low impact training. But I hate it. I smell like chlorine ALL THE TIME. The pool sucks. It's boring. And there are always other people there. I don't like people...that's why I run with headphones in the forest dammit. I'll find out later this week where I'm at in the recovery process. Lots of tears today because I have this terrible feeling that things are not healing well. I have this terrible feeling that I'm going to find out I f'd up my recovery by pool running or living or whatever-ing and then it'll be game over - hip replacement at 40. Seems unlikely, like how could that happen to me (???), I'm just a recreational runner for christ's sake! But the orthopaedic doc has really put the fear in me that this is not going to heal properly and that I will never be the same again. I really, really hope he's just a douche bag who scares patients into compliance instead of being right. Fingers and toes crossed, prayers and sacrifices to the running gods, yada, yada, yada. Amen.