6 of 12

Was browsing my old comic strips tonight (still procrastinating on those minutes) and had to laugh at this one:




"A" has recenly formed an interest in space and the universe (a bit abstract for a 4 year old I think, but he seems to gravitate to scientific subjects). A quote from one of his "bedtime stories":

"For many years scientists believed that the pull of gravity from the stars and galaxies would gradually slow down the expansion of the universe. However, recent observation suggest that this expansion is accelerating. If this is true, the galaxies will get farther and farther apart. No more stars will form, black holes will disappear, and the universe will end as a cold, dark, lifeless and empty place."

Ummm, ok. Say goodbye to existence. Man, scientists are so blunt.
My 4 year old is just looking at the pictures in this book and asking me questions about the planets. He also likes to talk about the moon and the people living in the ISS (that the international space station for you layman). Meanwhile I'm reading the text to myself and having major anxiety attacks about my insignificance and the end of my own existence. Why couldn't he have an interest in flowers? Or cars? The universe is just too big for me to contemplate before bed.

why do today what you can put off till tomorrow?

While snuggling A to sleep tonight my mind was racing. So many topics and possibilities of what to write were cruising through my head. I put the kids to bed early tonight so that I would have some time to reflct on everything that has been going on and finally write a post that is more than just daily drivel. Then I came upstairs. Remembered that I had yet to type up the minutes of the parent commitee meeting from March 2nd. Then, because I was already on the computer, I checked my e-mail and responded with lengthy and thoughtful responses to a couple of messages. Then I made a tea. Then I chated with J. Then I ate some chocolate. Then I browsed MLS (why? I love my house, but for some reason I had to know what properties in Comox were like). All this time I am STILL working on the f-ing minutes and still planing my epic blog post. It's now 10:10pm. I still have to walk the damn dog and my first wake-up by a sleepy child wanting to be snuggled is coming in about 2 hours. I no longer have the energy, or the drive to write my epic post. So, just some more daily drivel.

if you're happy and you know it

Four days in Tofino have been a great way to unwind from the week in San Diego. Sounds ridiculous, but I really did need a vacation after my vacation. The first day in Tofino was a tough one. J was sick, literally puking and not able to participate, and I was stuck on a beach in the rain with extreme wave warnings and two kids with no sense of safety. A2 fell in the water trying to outrun a wave and we all got soaked trying to rescue her - I was frustrated and tired by lunchtime. The rest of the trip was much better though. The weather didn't change, nor did the kids, but I did. What's the saying? Happy wife, happy life? Seems true to some extent - I think happy, then become happy and everyone else seems to follow suit. I feel more peaceful and the kids had more fun. Win, win. I'm also beginning to realise that with 4 people in a family there is a high probability every day that at least one person is going to be feeling grumpy. Reason enough not to expand the family any more!

Tofino was magic. We spent every day on the beach, rain or shine. We all look so healthy now with our rosy cheeks and bright eyes - that non-polluted air was good for clearing the cobwebs.

I thought a lot about what makes me feel happy during this little mini-trip. I'm fortunate in that I do feel happy most of the time, but there are degrees. Being outside and being "free" are my happiest moments. Being a loving and supportive mother, wife, friend, etc. makes me happy. Learning new skills or ideas makes me happy. These are all such simple thinsg and yet sometimes I lose track of how simple my life can realy be. I tend to get bogged down in a lot of useless crap that doesn't really matter.

not the greatest mom award

Today has been one of those days. And it's only 11am. We're in Tofino (my idea to try and get a mini-vacay and some family time) and my children's behaviour is appalling. Is is normal to struggle through every single day with your kids? Is it normal to sound like a broken record of, "no, don't do that" and "just listen!"? My confidence in myself as a parent is waning. I feel like I'm already alienating A2 with my incessant negativity and I do try to find the positive bahaviour to comment on, but there is so little sometimes. Are my expectations too high? I wish I knew why parenting seems so ineffective at times. More than anything, I want to enjoy my children with as little conflict as possible. I guess I'll just have to try changing my approach...again.