friday night at the...

Sitting at work right now eating an expired box of Mike and Ike's Berry Blast that the vending machine guy gave me. These are by far the worst candies I've had for a long time; pure sugar and nuclear colours designed to represent impossible flavours. I can't stop eating them. They're giving me gut rot. Also on the menu tonight are numerous bags of expired chips and one expired Kit Kat Chunky...wait, do these pants make my but look fat?

Hockey tonight. The last scrimmage session with the group of guys from my hockey classes. It's been really fun to play all summer long. There's something so nice about coming out of the rink into a nice warm summer evening instead of a cold winter day. Oh fack...the green flavoured Mike and Ike tasted like what I would imagine Windex tastes like. That's it, no more candies.

Random startle, groan, trip, troop, benign, crazy, delay, comfort, gather, still, badly, croatian, design, belay, gather, peeling, folding, gather, delay, pull, tell, gold, bald, smell, still, fell, taste, give, stall, friend, great, melt, nail, board, snad, grate, beef, show, make, almost, beaver, lake, sand, bench, cleats, martin, bathtub, paleolithic, gratitude, traffic, spatula, potato, corrosive, simpleton, pal, mall, bakery, brick, smell, place, realize, trap, grate, golly, movies, chair, bathroom, carpet, foot, ctair, passion, groan, palo alto, you, you, you, you, you, grungee, porpoise, dalls, pov, smokes, battles, crisp, discovery, skiff, corduroy

My brain is half asleep.

insomnia by the blue screen

Woke up at 4am and couldn't get back to sleep. Felt wired and restless - turned on the tv and was greeted with live images of Gaza and the "eviction". There is so much in this world that I don't understand. At this point I know it's naive to say, "Why can't everyone just get along..." But, oh, do I ever wish that it could be that simple.

Read the story here

Baumhaus

Indispensables à la vie sur Terre, l'homme les a de tous temps utilisés, et la société humaine ne serait pas ce qu'elle est, sans les arbres.

Keats Island, 2005

sick parade

Whoa! My last post created quite a stir. Rest assured, to everyone who assumed otherwise, that I have NOT been dooced. The post was generated in response to a friend whose co-worker has written in her blog about friends and family; not bad things, but true things that are private and should not be discussed in the public halls of the internet. Maybe reality TV is making some of us a little blasé when it comes to privacy. Anyway, I digress.

Today I’m sick. Being someone who rarely gets sick there have been times when I’ve thought how nice it would be to be sick for a few days just to be able to have that excuse to relax, take-it-easy, be told to "take-care-of-yourself", "don't over do it"... Problem is, even though I'm truly sick now, I'm not sick enough. I can still go to work, I still have an appetite, I can still do everything. I just feel like crap and slightly less coordinated than usual. Strep throat - it's just not good enough. And so, I’m off to work where I will happily transmit this Strep throat to all who annoy me.

Oh, funny movie to check out if you’re in the mood for a laugh and know a bit about Jewish culture: The Hebrew Hammer.

Also, really enjoyed this book: The Normals. Not sure if it would appeal to everyone, but it has a certain Coupland-esque quality.

ciao

anyone remember diaries? sheeeeesh...

Aside from the original, and far better known definition (ie: to lose ones job because of posts on your weblog), there is another more pertinent meaning to the word that I supply below.

dooced To have all social hell break loose when people you know and/or family members finally find and read your blog. ie. I went through a lot of trouble to keep my blog anonymous. It's just not worth getting dooced.

check it out people...the original

Blogs ARE public...remember?

little o' this, little o' that

Have you accepted change as your personal saviour? If not, then get with it. You know, change really is inevitable. It is impossible to live out an entire life of sameness. Personally, I enjoy change - it happens on its own agenda. We're rarely ready for it. Often I think, "If only I could have had a little more time before everything changed". But, I know that more time wouldn't have made a difference. It would only have served to ensconce me deeper into my fallacy of safety and predictability. Yes, change is good. Change is natural.

I have been thinking a lot lately. Thinking about everything under the sun. My life is so full right now and I feel such an overabundance of excitement about being alive. Of course, this feeling is also always followed by classic hypochondriac’s self-talk.

"Hmmm, has that lump at the base of my neck always been there? Oh my god, I bet it's a tumor.”
“Ow, ow, ow, blinding pain in my right temple...must be a tumor.”
“Heart is palpitating, a heart attack is imminent. I just know that my heart is going to stop suddenly. I'll be one of those stories - '30 year old woman drops dead of heart attack. No known cause."

Ya, you guessed it. I'm a freak.

J is trying to get me to fly to Mexico in January. I don't know when or why I started to be petrified of flying. I know that I had a terrible experience on my first flight to Australia (18 hours thank you very much) and ever since I have hated flying. Actually, funny story, my new-found fear of flying was part of what kept me down under for so long. I almost didn't come back at all just to avoid that flight. Then, the second time I flew to Oz I just pretended that I wasn't actually in the air at all (didn't really work, I lived through an 18 hour panic attack both ways). Now, I just don't know if I'm up for the challenge. I have heard that Ativan works to allay fear and make the user not care much about anything, but I've never been a real fan of prescription drugs. I just don't know.

People always try to calm me be telling me about the airplanes being completely safe. You can tell me about all the back-up systems that exist and how flying is safer than driving until you’re blue in the face. But, here's the reason that I don't like to fly. IF something does happen and I end up on a plane that IS careening out of control, plummeting towards the earth and my immediate death, I will torture myself with thoughts of "why did I get on this plane?" I'm not scared of flying, per say, I'm scared of dying. And, more importantly, I'm scared of knowing that I'm going to die before it actually happens. So, there you have it. The one and only thing that I am scared of in this world: death. Yep, that pretty much covers it.