snapshots

Apparently cosmonauts are the great champions of environmental and humanitaran causes because of the sheer impact of being removed from the planet and seeing it from above. If only everyone on the planet could have the opportunity to travel into space and see the earth in its entirety.

It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn't feel like a giant. I felt very, very small. - Neil Armstrong

It's a very sobering feeling to be up in space and realize that one's safety factor was determined by the lowest bidder on a government contract. - Alan Shepard

For those who have seen the Earth from space, and for the hundreds and perhaps thousands more who will, the experience most certainly changes your perspective. The things that we share in our world are far more valuable than those which divide us. - Donald Williams

For the first time in my life I saw the horizon as a curved line. It was accentuated by a thin seam of dark blue light - our atmosphere. Obviously this was not the ocean of air I had been told it was so many times in my life. I was terrified by its fragile appearance. - Ulf Merbold

The Earth was small, light blue, and so touchingly alone, our home that must be defended like a holy relic. The Earth was absolutely round. I believe I never knew what the word round meant until I saw Earth from space. - Aleksei Leonov

Before I flew I was already aware of how small and vulnerable our planet is; but only when I saw it from space, in all its ineffable beauty and fragility, did I realize that human kind's most urgent task is to cherish and preserve it for future generations. — Sigmund Jähn

From space I saw Earth indescribably beautiful with all the scars of national boundaries gone. - Muhammed Ahmad Faris

The first day, we pointed to our countries. Then we were pointing to our continents. By the fifth day we were aware of only one Earth. — Sultan Bin Salmon al-Saud

coffee walks

Sat through a four hour training seminar yesterday morning - topic: team building and constructive communication. Haven't decided if I learned anything yet, but in the very least I got paid for four hours and a free lunch.

I miss the Navy life. I know, I can't believe I just said that. Especially after 5 years of whining about how much I hated Victoria and living on the island. But, everything was so much easier - muted, but easier. Of course, I'm not thinking about the six month deployments, or the 24 hour duty watches, or the unhealthy environment. Ok, I don't miss the Navy life. I do miss our old neighbouhood though and I miss our little Lakehurst house and the boardwalk at Langford lake...

Today marks one month 'till my birthday. The big 31. One nice thing about getting older is that I have no pre-conceived expectations of where I should be at this age - somehow I never thought I would be this old. I'm house sitting for my mum right now and last night I dragged all the old photo albums to bed with me. What great photos! I was fascinated to see the photos of my parents when I was a toddler because in those photos they were the same age that I am now. What's really crazy is that they look like my brother and I look now. We have literally turned into our parents.

to put it mildly

Today at work I sit amidst the Christmas decorations and listen to all the comments from the passers-by. The most popular seems to be a sort of whiny, snarly, "Christmas already!?!" Sure, we put them up a litle earlier than most, but shut-up about it. Isn't it nice to walk in from the damp fog to a sea of burgangy and gold ribbons, dark green boughs and lights? It's cozy and warm and bright and makes me feel at home here. People are so bah-humbug these days.

Reading the paper there is an article about a study done by Kate Harkness (Queens University). The study sought to prove that mildly depressed people fail to recognize the feelings and emotions of others. This was based on the assumption that mildly depressed (mildly being the key word), while still functional, tend to have more conflict and negative feelings towards those around them. The results of the study, however, proved the opposite. Apparently mildly depressed people are so in tune with the emotions of other people that they tend to lose track of the larger picture. Their abiliity to interact with others is diminished because they are constantly misinterpreting the intentions of other people. According to the article, the researcher was so surpriseed by the findings that she ran the study twice just to be sure. Having been mildly (what a term) depressed for most of my life the findings of the study don't surprise me at all. My perpetual discomfort around people has always stemmed from over-analysing the messages I get. Serious sensory overload.

The fog. Every morning when I wake up I see sun and clear sky. My house is in a magic valley apparently. Then I have to drive to work and I don't see the sun or the sky again for the rest of the day. Last night I was actually shocked to see the lights on the mountain; that's how accustomed I've become to this short-sighted living.

Here's a picture of J's new truck. In a stunning display of creativity I've knick-named it the "Silver Bullet".

face time

We were talking at work today about the “mean girl” syndrome. One of the coaches recently read about a lateral study that proved the mean girls in elementary school are the same mean girls in adulthood. Once they discover the mean way of dealing with people they never change. Bitches. I’m not a mean girl, but I am a shy girl and so I occasionally get mistaken for a snobby girl. I remember a good friend of mine finally breaking under my incessant barrage of questions about how I was perceived by other people and telling me that I have this habit of looking at people out of the corner of my eye that makes me look like a bitch. He also added that the fact that my eyes are big as saucers doesn’t help. But, I appreciated his honesty. How we are perceived by others is rarely what we expect and, for the most part, out of our control. Sure, we can dress a certain way, speak a certain way, read certain books and watch certain films; but just try and change your concentration face or your walking-up-the-street face, or your standing-at-the-bus-stop body language…you can’t. It’s the true reflection of you and unfortunately it doesn’t always translate clearly to other people. My mum has this great thing she used to say to me sometimes when I was younger - usually in a group of kids, maybe I didn't like one of them, she'd say, "Careful, your face is showing."

How often does your face show? And, what's it saying?

half full

I’m sitting squarely in the middle of this paradoxical no-mans land where I miss the past and all the people in it while, at the same time I have never been more excited about the future and right now. Truthfully, I’ve always been a bit of a nostalgia girl – pining endlessly over how things were or could have been. In fact, it’s this nostalgia-tude that probably helped foster my great fear of growing up. Lately though, I can feel that things are shifting. I’m really enjoying my life right now and, rather than this being a short lived sentiment brought about by an epic day or event it seems to constant; through good times and bad. Needless to say I’m perplexed. But, I also love it.