I have made a number of resolutions this year geared toward improving my quality of life and feeling more happiness. It hasn't been that difficult to stick to these resolutions and the rewards have been highly satisfying. For instance, my resolution to get up every week-day morning at 6:30am has made those days more calm and peaceful. I no longer feel rushed or disorganised in the morning and, on the odd day when A2 doesn't wake up with me, I sometimes get a lovely half-hour to sip my coffee in silence. What a gift.
My resolution to "shut-up and listen" has also has wonerful results. I feel like I'm connecting with people on a more friendly and collaborative level. That being said, this resolution, along with my other inter-personal resolution to become "less argumentative", is also causing me some major stress. These tactics don't work with people who are unable to read their audience or who are idiots. I recently sat and "just listened" to a woman talk for over 40 minutes about all sorts of topics that I, a) had very little interest in and, b) found her to be extremely under informed about and, c) would really have liked to argue about. But, trying to honour my resolutions and thinking that there would eventually be some kind of break in the monologue I sat there giving only encouraging, "ummhmmms" and "oh really's". It was torture. It didn't make me happy and it certainly didn't make me like this woman anymore than I did before. I need to figure out how to deal with this kind of person in a mutually satisfying way.
FYI...here is a list of my resolution in full:
Get up early and go to bed early-ish (I tend to be a night owl, so this one is a success if my head hits the pillow before 11pm)
Listen to people intently. I have a tendency to interrupt with my own stories, not the best quality in a friend.
No more yelling at my kids. That's it, I just don't yell. This has worked too, just the act of saying that "I don't yell" has made it true.
Be extra nice to people I don't like. Since I am the kind of person who finds it hard to hide my feelings, this one is crucial. Success rate is 50/50 so far.
Be less argumentative. I don't need to challenge everything, but I do. This one too has been really hard to acheive all the time. I find it easy to smile and be silent early on in a conversation, but if the person continues to pursue certain topics or is just plain stupid, I can only last for so long.
I've been atempting these resolutions for 3 months now and am feeling extremely positive about the outcome. I feel happier, nicer and more satisfied with myself. Aside from the ovious, ie: feeling good about myself, you may ask, why am I doing this? Well, I have thought a lot about the way people age and have noticed that many people seem to become more saturated with their more undesirable qualities as they age. The adage of the "grumpy old man" is very much true and women tend towards negativism and nastiness. I don't want to decend down that road, but the reality is that I already see it happening. I'm way more difficult to get along with now than I was when I was 21. And, I reckon, I will be more so when I am 51 if I don't make an effort to stay "nice". That's my theory anyway. I'll keep you posted.
